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I AM CAUGHT IN THE
VORTEX OF MY OWN CHURN.
My will, especially when it comes to dealing with quotidian human situations, has been paralysed for the past 45 years, and every confrontation, when forced upon me by the mere act of living, of being, of breathing and therefore of being, becomes repugnant to the extreme, tiresomely unwelcome, as undeserved. I live in a miasma of paradoxes, where to act becomes an error, as much as not to act.
Arjuna's Kurukshetra had an alibi called Krishna. I divested myself of all alibis in the stupid pursuit of intellectual integrity in my evolution, without compromising fairness to others who chose not to, or plainly, did not evolve, even if it crippled me. I have no Krishna, although, astonishingly, I do not have just one Kurukshetra, but a million.
Someone made this
comment on the statements above:
Krishna is cardinal in
the epic Mahabharata, as the conscience of all the
characters in the narrative, as they played, or did not
play, their various roles, treacherous or benevolent.
Krishna's recitation of the Gita provided them all with
validity, by justifying every lie, duplicity when
necessary, even murder. He provided them all with an
alibi, to ease every mind of its need to resolve all the
contradictions man has to live with.